Privacy Policy

1. Information We Collect

None.

We understand this is an unusual answer for a people-search company. Our competitors collect your data by scraping, purchasing, aggregating, and cross-referencing it. We consider this inefficient. Why collect data when you can simply already have it?

Everything you type into this site (your phone number, your address, your password, which you should not have typed into a website called EthicalDox) is processed entirely inside your own browser by a few lines of arithmetic. It is never sent to us. We would not know what to do with it. We already have it.

2. Information We Already Have

All of it. Specifically:

• Phone numbers. Every one. Ten billion of them. Yours is among them, along with your ex's, your dentist's, and several that have never been dialled by anyone.
• IP addresses. All 4,294,967,296 IPv4 addresses and all 340 undecillion IPv6 addresses, including ones that have not been assigned to a planet yet.
• Home addresses. Every combination of house number, street, and city in our lists. This includes your house and the houses that should have been built next to it.
• Passwords. Every printable string up to 256 characters. Your password is in here. So is your next password. So is this sentence.
• Strings. Every Unicode string up to 1,000 characters, in every language and every emoji. Your group chat is in here, in order, along with every reply you thought of later.
• Birthdays. Every day from the year 1 to 9999. We do not know which one is yours. We have all of them, so it does not matter.
• Social Security Numbers. All billion nine-digit numbers, formatted helpfully. Most were never issued. We do not discriminate.

None of this data is linked to you, to anyone, or to anything. It is linked only to the number that comes before it and the number that comes after it. This is called ████████.

3. How We Use Your Information

We use your information to display your information back to you, slightly rearranged, in a dark-mode font, to make you feel watched. That is the entire product.

We do not sell your data. We could not sell your data. Anyone who wants your data can get all of it by counting to ten billion, which is cheaper than any price we could charge. Our Enterprise tier is priced accordingly.

4. Cookies

We use zero cookies. There is no cookie banner because there are no cookies. If you are seeing a cookie banner right now, it belongs to a different website, and you should be concerned about that website.

We also use no local storage, no tracking pixels, no fingerprinting, and no “anonymised telemetry.” If we want to know how many people visited, we will guess. Our guess is ██████████████.

5. Third Parties

This site loads no third-party scripts, fonts, analytics, ad networks, or social widgets. Our list of data-sharing partners is printed below in full:

We once considered partnering with a data broker, but they asked for our data, and we sent them a for-loop. They have not called back. We have their number.

6. Your IP Address

Like every web server on Earth, ours sees your IP address when it sends you this page. This is how the internet works and is not a feature we can turn off without also turning off the website.

On the homepage we may show you your own IP address and tell you which record it lives at. This lookup asks our own server, displays the answer to you, and goes no further. We do not store it, log it, or remember it. It was already in the database at record #your-IP-as-a-number. That is what IP addresses are.

7. Data Retention

We retain your data forever. Not because we store it, but because mathematics does. We cannot delete the number 5,551,234,567. Nobody can. It will outlive us, the website, and the sun.

Data you type into the site is retained until you close the tab, at which point your browser forgets it, and so do we, having never known it.

8. Security

We protect your data with industry-standard security practices, including the unusual practice of not having any. A hacker who breaches our servers will obtain: some HTML, a stylesheet, and the sincere disappointment of discovering that the database is a calculator.

Our database has been breached 0 times. It has also been completely public since the beginning, which we feel saves everyone time.

9. Your Rights

Depending on where you live (we know where you live), you may have the following rights:

• The right to access. Granted. Scroll the database. It is all there.
• The right to rectification. If your record is wrong, it is because you are looking at the wrong record. Try the next one.
• The right to erasure. Use the opt-out form. We will remove your number. It will then be immediately re-added, because it is a number, and we cannot stop numbers from existing. We have tried.
• The right to portability. Your data is extremely portable. Write it on your hand.
• The right to object. Objection noted. Objections are strings. We have all of them.

10. Children's Privacy

We do not knowingly collect data from children. We do not knowingly collect data from anyone. We do, however, have every child's birthday, as a side effect of having every birthday. We apologise to children for the existence of calendars.

11. Data Breaches

In the event of a breach, we will notify affected users within 72 hours. The affected users would be everyone. The notification would read: “Your data was already public. It is a number.” Consider this your notification, sent in advance for efficiency.

12. Changes to This Policy

We may update this policy at any time. Any updated version is already present in our Universal String Registry, so technically you have already read it. Thank you for your continued agreement.

13. Contact Us

Questions about this policy may be directed to our Data Protection Officer at ██████████████████. One of them is ours. We will not say which.